Ben and Zane were having a wonderful kind of day walking down the streets of Elwood City. But there was a problem: they couldn't find their lucky egg! They looked on the street and on the sidewalks. Where was the egg? They looked on top of the buildings and inside the stores. Where was the egg? They asked the policeman and the crossing guard. Where was the egg? Finally, they asked Arthur, who seemed like a knowledgeable...person? He said he had the same problem last week, but after 22 minutes of searching he realized that he had left it at home, and it turned out that the Cartoncasters did too! Ah, the simple life.
Ben and Zane were hesitant to join SHIELD, the Society Helping In Egg-related Leisures Distribution, but after a quick tour and being given their complimentary motorcycles, they warmed to it. The only problem was the sheer number of people in masks standing around, shouting nonsensical catchphrases at each other. You couldn't even cross over to the other end of the airship without causing a fight sequence. Even so, it was nice to get away from DC (Dialogue Competency) for awhile.
Well up on Muscle Planet, the Muscle League was inducting new members, and wouldn't you know it, Ben and Zane were first in line. They were a little nervous about all of the wrestlers what were animals in line, but a quick talk from the one and only Kid Muscle set them straight. Not only did they learn about multiculturalism in the ring, they also got an engrossing song about the merits of a high-fiber diet. A brief induction ceremony later, The Cartoncasters were off, dreaming of one day having a planet with their faces on it.
Ben and Zane were having a hell of a time in the jungle, running from lions and eating bees. Their salvation came in the form of world-renowned explorist Nigel Thornberry, who gave them a ride in the CommVee and fed them some delicious cheesy-puffs. His family was a bit odd, though. One of those darned kids wouldn't get off her phone, while another one couldn't stop screaming. One of them kept mumbling to the pet monkey (also, pet monkey). Nigel sat down to interview the Cartoncasters about their time in the wild, but to be honest, they couldn't really remember much.
The highly coveted Cartony Cup (a large glass that you crack eggs into before whisking) is up for grabs again this year, with hosts Ben and Zane presiding. It's a real menagerie of animated contenders this year, and we intend not to stop until everyone, including the ourselves, the cartoons, and even the audience, is disoriented and ashamed. It takes about five minutes this year.
Wendell Jones of Sideshow Sound Theatre (That's "r-e") joined us to talk about this unique and emotion-driven classic. Some pieces have stood the test of time and look as good now as they did in 1940, while others are Toccata and Fugue. While it may not have lived up to Disney's dreams during his lifetime, Fantasia remains an important piece of culture. In that, it is not unlike the Cartoncast.
Ben and Zane got permission from the consulate to visit the planet of New Texas, and what a trip they had! It started out fine enough, with the Cartoncasters getting buzzed off some local 'sweetwater' and taking a tour of the kerium mines. But the best part was when bandits tried to take them hostage, only to be thwarted by the legendary sheriff, the one and only Bravestarr. Armed with nothing but grit, a good moral backbone, and the living spirits of the animal kingdom, Bravestarr brought them safely back to town, reminding them that the best battle is the one not fought and to always eat their vegetables.
The inimitable Nic Robes joined the Cartoncasters to visit the moon (not that one, the other one), where they met with a curious young man, one Hans Brickman. A short interview later and they learned all about the circuitous, seemingly arbitrary, and self-contradictory story of his life as a bricklayer. It was a sad tale, fraught with hardship, abuse, confusing allegories, alien invasion, ska, and Stifler from American Pie. We can't do it justice to try to recount it here, but we recommend you take a listen. It'll definitely toughen you up! Spigot.
Ben and Zane were joined by Dan for their biweekly "Brunch and Sneer," spending the time drolly discussing the state of the world and wondering why people would choose not to be born rich. "Quite odd," one quipped. "Myes, quite." They had such an enjoyable time that it turned into "Luncheon and Scoff." At one point it sounded like there might be some sort of malformed man ramming himself against the door in protest of his lot in life, but turning up the brandy faucet made short work of that annoyance.
The Cartoncasters were lost in the great metroscape of downtown Manhattan and stumbled into an active protest. This protest, headed by the Huntsclan, was trying to rally the people to drive out the unnatural and mystical creatures from their beloved city. The Cartoncasters kind of saw his point, until they realized he just meant Asian people, not mythical monsters. If only the real Huntsman, from Freakazoid, had been there instead.
Hey, you there. You think this is a game? You think this is a kid's show, for baby tots? Think again. This is about food. The kind of food that kills for fun. For a sick sense of pleasure. This ain't no action comedy lighthearted romp parody. Ben and Zane, our beloved Cartoncasters, were nearly killed in the line of duty trying to report on this war zone. By day the beasts wield their spoons with impunity, knowing nobody can fight back. The night is scarcely darker, as candies explode and shower the sky with flaming sticky shrapnel. God help you if you fall in a grease trap. These Foodons just keep fighting.
From Darkwing Duck to Cybersix to Lupin III, we've been dealing with Noir-like properties for some time. But, in a bizarre twist, Who Framed Roger Rabbit is the clearest Noir example we've seen yet. Add to it one of the best examples of blending live-action and animation mediums, glaze it with classic cartoon references, and generously sprinkle Bob Hoskins' legendary performance, and what you get it a sublimely entertaining movie that stands in a class all its own. So put on your four-fingered gloves, establish some mood lighting, and have some chips and Dip handy - you're in for a good time.
Have a care, little bear-type buddy! It looks those two little peas in a podcast have wandered into Jellystone national park. If I didn't have a better reason, I'd say that it must be Yogi Bear season! Everything should be a-okay if we let them stay, until they're on their way! No thanks BooBoo, there's no need for you to talk. Sinceriously, we're good.
After getting a distress signal from the ____, Ben and Zane beamed up their pal Nic to track their most dangerous foe yet, ASAP. An evil half-black-hole threatened to destroy the universe, but as they started planning their ambush, the Cartoncasters found their own voices strangely soothing. After getting heavily distracted, yet again, they regained focus when a cyborg ape threw his brain at them. It was kind of hard to focus on anything else, really. But through a combination of freezing temperatures and zero gravity, they managed to prevail. With apologies to Steve Miller Band.
Cartoncast Evil Incorporateeeeed! The Cartoncasters invite you all to behold our new Joke-inator. By flagrantly brandishing sitcom formula with an ironic edge, this device creates cartoons at an almost fiendish pace. And just when you think you've adapted to the formula, it fires an out of place song at you, causing disorientation, irritability, and in rare cases, thrombosis. Don't worry though - at least once an episode, you'll be rescued from the monotony by an animal secret agent in a funny hat. God bless you, Perry the Platypus. God bless you.
You will often hear Ben and Zane relentlessly make fun of shows we don't like, or get excited and rave about shows we do like, but we're starting a new hundred episodes with an oddity: relentlessly making fun of a movie we genuinely enjoyed, and which less cynical people find emotionally resonant. It's beautiful, it's meaningful, it's short, and it's just so, so full of its own message. Enjoy the cherry blossoms.
No beating around the bush on this one - we both adore this show. Jackie Chan is a knockoff Indiana Jones that gets inducted into the MIB to hunt the 7 magical crystals and make the world safe from a dragon demon statue that summons shadow ninjas. Ease off the throttle JCA - you had us at Hak Foo. Enjoy as we rightly praise a show that captured our hearts unlike any other.
Ben and Zane were enjoying a cheese tour of northern England when they bit into a local sample. Something was...off. The cheese was crumbly, but not in a good way. In fact it felt and tasted like clay! It started moving on its own, just very very slowly. Rather than touch it further with their hands, the Cartoncasters set up a Rube-Goldberg-esque contraption to do away with the dreary dairy. Ah well, at least they still had each other!
It was Ben and Zane's hardest case yet, a real Riddler of a mystery. They would need some help from the local photographer, Devan, to get to the bottom of it. And it paid off - she had taken a treasure trove of pictures and video, exhaustively researching the very same case. She found that there was one common factor behind the string of disappearances of villains in the city: massive amounts of guano left behind at the scene. But what could be doing this? Who would drain the blood of dozens of hard-working megalomaniacal job-creators, yet be smart enough to evade capture. But in a vast city of people throatily declaring "I am Batman," where could they find the elusive Man-Bat?
Ben and Zane probably shouldn't have wandered through the desolate streets of London that late at night. They were chasing a hot tip about a vampire running amok, just being generally creepy and nihilistic. Luckily, local professor of the supernatural, one Dan Caves, was willing to outfit them everything they'd need to survive the task. Silver crosses, impossibly heavy guns, and over-the-top faux british accents that'd send the ranks of the undead running. Cor and blimey, police girl.