There’s nothing else to say. This is true art.

Ben and Zane were worried that they were losing their street cred. They were known as the Cartoncasters, sure, but did anybody know about their detective careers? That time they saved the world? The horrible monsters they created/defeated/rebirthed? They brought Ian in to give them a makeover and to let the whole world know that they were the true Land-based Adult Action Squad.

What’s cooler, Moonwalking or the Running Man?

Ben and Zane were reading their Bibles like they totally all the time do, when they read an odd story they weren’t familiar with. It spoke of “fruits of the ground” which “rose up to overthrow mankind” and “sing silly songs all day.” The Cartoncasters asked Ali for help. She used her expertise with vegetables to throw salt over the books and perform an exorcism. They weren’t sure that it was the holiest thing they could have done, but at least is wasn’t boring!

What do you get when you take an Empowered guest, an Australian Cattle Dog, an S-tier dad, and a willingness to get a bit sappy? The Cartoncasters intended to find out. They hustled around the house, putting these elements into their magic blend-o-matic until it spat out the cutest little dog show in the world. Ben and Zane had a great time, but sometimes you just need to rest after playing, you know? Time for a nap!

Ben and Zane were rolling full steam ahead when something on the tracks caught their eyes. It was Andrew, funny little fellow he was, blocking the path of the Cartoncasters. They asked him to move but he would not. He asked them to move but they would not. So they carried him off to the smelter for reprocessing. Also they were all trains.

Ben and Zane are friends. They have fun together. They are Cartoncasters. They meet Muzzy. Big Muzzy. Nic rode past on a bicycle. Muzzy likes bicycles.

Ben and Zane were (once again) musing on what it must be like to be a tween girl. What were the social pressures like? How does one make friends? What sort of wish is worth it to damn the world, and is the world even worth saving? The Cartoncasters only knew one thing for sure: that weird cat thing was due for a beating.

Ben and Zane needed an expert to explain the changes they were noticing in their bodies. Zane was able to turn his bones into cheese, and Ben had rat sneezes. They called in Josh to explain some lore about mutations, and the X-gene, and Legends of the Hidden Temple for some reason. When we asked how genetic mutations could let someone create full rats from their nose, Josh just directed them toward 70 years worth of comic books. Could be worse, though. Could be Wolverine Origins.

Ben and Zane had high hopes for their chances on Total Podcast Island. The Cartoncasters were helpful, courteous, and completely absent of drama. And even though their team won the challenge, the host decided that they were bad TV and sent them packing. On to the real challenge: Book Deal!

Ben and Zane were going on an absolutely wild and unhinged adventure. Just incredible stuff happening that you need to hear to believe. However, first you have to listen to an excruciating story about their recent thoracic surgery. But first, a word from our sponsors: Lice!