Supernatural Butt: Believe it or not we cut out a lot of this one.

Arachnid Manipulation: In Soviet Hogwarts, the spiders gotta follow you!

Tom Arnold Power: I wasn’t going to include this but it’s #333 - half the number of the beast - which felt appropriate.

Thin Surface Zipping: As misleading as it is suggestive-sounding.

Sound Shield Construction: If “La La La I’m not listening” worked on bullets.

Apocalyptic Artillery: I do not know what weapons World War 3 will be fought with, but afterwards we’re watching Gilligan’s Isle.

Supernatural Speed: So fast it’s unnatural, not so fast you’re a ghost.

Newtonian Motion Defiance: Nothing’s gonna bring you down.

Terraportation: Whack-a-mole GO

Illusionary Environment: Now you see it, now you’re in it!

Damage Reduction: Go from a “7” on the pain chart to like a “4”.

Artificial Element Magic: This one’s just a big mess.

Acceleration: Apparently we are pro-speed and anti-post-office.

Frigokinetic Invisibility: Okay but what are the military applications of Frosty the Invisible Snowman?

Animal Weaponry: Walk with the animals, talk with the animals, bash and crash and smash with the animals.

Enigma Force: I can’t stop picturing the Riddler just Hulking out.

Petrification Immunity: You can’t get hard even if you want to.

Repulsor Protrusion: Just because it’s repulsive doesn’t mean it has to be repulsive.

Night Mode: The night time, is the right time, to fight crime.

Superior Zombie Physiology: You’re the best! Around! Shambling on out of the ground!