Plant Pillar Projection: Easily the third-least desirable form of ‘stalking.’

Mass Transference: Great for getting rid of those extra kilograms by putting them somewhere else.

Holiday Manipulation: The real spirit of Christmas… was a person.

Magma Embodiment: I’m hot blooded, check it and see; I got this magma streaming outside of me.

Antler Protrusion: Up, up, and away from your skull.

Slasher Villain Physiology: If you wanted a list of about a dozen slasher movies, here it is.

Ice Cream Manipulation: Finally, a way to get three scoops in a single cone.

Healing Weaponry: It’s like giving peace a chance.

Chaos Technology: It’s a remote, it’s a backscratcher, it dices, it slices, it, uh, burst into flames…

Teeth Manipulation: You think they can do a lot for you now, just wait.

Sasquatch Physiology: You’ve got big feet and big charisma.

Digital Polearm Construction: High-tech info meets stone-age violence.

Hydrokinetic Invisibility Revisited: This one’s better because we talk about nudity.

Alien Companionship: Friendship knows no planet.

Steam Aura: This way you don’t have to Blaze It.

Fat Prime: Don’t even worry about the power, just bask in the name.

Serqekinetic Bow Construction: Ser… Serka… Acid bows. It’s acid bows.

Skin Hardening: If you ignore how horrifying it is… it’s still not that useful.

Subterranean Mode: Time to get down with the Wu-Tang Clan.