Hating on CGI has become a national pastime for the cartoon-watching world, and we’re certainly no strangers. But is a good concept enough to rescue some fairly uncanny animation and flat characters? This episode features superfan Alex as he walks us through a oft-forgotten movie of the aughts. Remember to bring your walkie-talkies and bikes - you don’t want to be a dead person, do you?
Ben and Zane were on the hunt for the cryptid provided in their handy dandy cryptid-a-day calendar. This one would be tricky - an astronaut-scientist-olympian-archeologist-professor moose. They called in Phil for his unmistakable expertise in all things hokey and contrived. Turns out the cryptid was more of a metaphor for the cold war than an actual moose. Didn’t work for ya? Well here’s something we think you’ll really like!
There’s only so much Ben and Zane could take. In the current political climate, they were filled to burst with political satire of every kind: known knowns, known unknowns, and the reclusive unknown unknowns. They needed an expert to help them sort through the harrowing fields of political comedy, and it turns out that Dan Caves was just the man for the job. Sure, he might have prefaced every proper noun with the word lil’, but even so, they were able to say mission accomplished. Heh heh.
In some ways, Studio trigger provides a countermelody to the anime of the 90’s. Instead of saying a lot using fairly basic animation, Promare says very little - but it says it really, really loudly. The plot construction is shallow, the characters poorly motivated, and the sense of space is almost nonexistent - and yet, this is an anime powerhouse at the very top of their game, and we found it enjoyable as hell. Let your mind wander as the regular geometries wash over you, and you’ll have a real good time too.
Welcome back to the Cartony Awards! This year featured some heavy hitters and surprising dark horses (but not a real dark horse that’s cruel). And as we round the corner toward our final year, we’re left to ponder the big questions. When are they going to fire Great Teacher Onizuka for sexual harassment? How many Sheldons are there? And just what is it about Flo from Progressive? It’s a jam-packed year of equally stupid conversations from the Cartoncast, and we humbly invite you to listen in.
Our categories this year:
Best Intro
Show That we Like the Best Despite Hating a Good Half of it
Best Callback
Best Example of Random Humor
Worst Teen
Best Conspiracy Theory
Best Voice Actor Spotlight
Character Most Immune from Consequences
'“We’ve Been Meaning to Get to That” Award
Best Hot Take
Best Show
The Cartoncast has an image to uphold, you know. We can’t just have any old podcaster on staff, coming in half-cocked off of a bender, ranting about upskirt shots in video games and confessing actual, literal crimes on camera. But every so often you run into a true problem in the podcast world that can’t be solved with a meeting or a suspension. No, sometimes you need a man like Onizuka, who finds the people responsible for trolls hacking into our website, and reminds them about proper netiquette via German suplex. Just, uh… don’t talk to him on bring your daughter to work day.
Things were rough for the Podcaster Cops down at the station. The legendary Axe Cop - yes, that Axe Cop - was making them look bad! It was up to Law Cop to give them a leg up and show them the beat. Despite learning several hundred secret kicks and foiling the impending Shark/Tiger war, they still couldn’t keep up with Axe Cop, and were forced into early retirement. It’s just as well, though. Rumor has it that the missions were being given out by a five year old.
In the fallout of One Punch Man’s miraculous rise and then slow fall, Mob Psycho was somewhat overlooked by the anime community for a time. Which is a shame, because by all accounts it surpasses One’s more famous work. Ben and James gush unceasingly about this bowl-cut havin’ miracle child and his master, the greatest psychic of the modern era.
The following is a choice segment from an interview between Bit Cloud, pilot of the Liger Zero from Blitz Team, and the Cartoncasters.
“Look man, life’s not so easy in the post-apocalypse. Which post apocalypse? Not important. At least, not any more important than bustin’ up some fools with my mad sick liger zero moves. I’ve never met a mech I didn’t want to fight, and I never didn’t fight a mech I haven’t wanted to beat. So let’s get this show on the road, pardner! That growling either means my Liger wants to wrassle, or that I’m hungry - and I already ate! Ate what? From what food sources? Man, just from those questions I can tell you aint from around here.”
Welcome to our 200th episode, eggberts! We could go on a whole spiel about why we chose this for such an auspicious anniversary, or do some sort of speech celebrating our run so far, but in the end we just wanted to gush about Freakazoid, so that’s what we did. For those who know this show, no additional context is necessary. For those who haven’t - you’re in for a real mint.
Thanks for Josh for helping out with the intro!
The Cartoncasters are not immune to getting lost at the terminal, and wouldn’t you know it, on their way to Albuquerque they managed to reroute to Australia, where one Taz was waiting for them. Though they were initially nervous, Ben and Zane found him to be pleasant enough company, if a bit derivative. They also met 80-odd other characters, but as the saying goes, what happens in Tasmania… isn’t a whole lot.
Space Jam is one of those properties that you’ve seen, even if you haven’t seen it. And if you have seen it, see it again now that you’re older. Because it's legendary status is part truth, part myth, and part confusing. This oft-cited box office bombshell has its share of faults that your kid brain might have passed over - as well as a few ‘blink and you miss it’ gags that had us rolling.
Thanks for James for coming on the show and lending us some much needed basketball insights!
Every so often you run into something that just can’t be explained. So when strange spooky noises showed up on their recordings, Ben and Zane decided to contact the experts. Resident horror expert Dan Caves agreed to take a look at the files. Long story short, the files weren’t haunted, but there was a clip detailing the evils of governmental overreach. None of them knew how it got there - it just sort of popped in there.
It’s always satisfying to fill in a blind spot here at the Cartoncast, and this one was a mile wide. Akira establishes the cyberpunk genre, opened the doors for anime in the west - and the anime industry in Japan - and commented upon the timely (and timeless) themes of institutional power in a time of rapid evolution. No need to be psychic to judge how we felt about this work; it’s remarkable, and stands proudly as a pillar of the industry.
Well, it’s that time again to celebrate the holiest of holidays - Cartony season. Sure, this past year was a bit of a struggle at times, with many contenders for the spot of New Ben before the original came back to claim his title. But amongst the strife came clarity on the true nature of Santa Claus (the answer may surprise you!) as well as a higher than recommended dose of dithering about with various guests. Join us as we debate whether or not most of the things this year happened.
Our categories this year:
Most Interesting Nonhuman
Best Musical Number to Worst Episode Ratio
Best Santa
Best Boy
Best Intro
Best Adoption of an Earlier Art Style
Best Conspiracy Theory
Best Ensemble Cast
Best Sibling Dynamic
Who Would Win in a Fight?
Biggest Coincidence (You’re Tellin’ Me)
Biggest Payoff for Creative Liberties Taken
Best Movie
Best Bonus Episode
Best Show
Most of the titles that cross Ben and Zane’s desk never make it to review, but they felt bad about rejecting cartoons out of line. As luck would have it, the Critique himself, our friendly neighborhood Dane Caverns came by to take the worst stuff off their hands. Within an hour, the Critique had given the most scathing criticism he could muster to the worst offenders, saving Ben and Zane from doing it themselves. With his help, the Cartoncasters will never have to review a show and proclaim… It stinks!
The Prince of Egypt has been lauded as one of the best told animated biblical stories - and rightly so. Heavy subject matter has to be sensitively portrayed, which can be a big ask in a medium primarily geared toward children. It takes a rare movie to balance biblical accuracy with enough gentleness not to stress younger viewers, all while still managing to be entertaining. With all that and a surprise appearance of Jeff Goldblum, this film delivered us to the promised land of holiday-related animation.
Cartoons have an interesting relationship with holiday specials. They tend to coincide with an animation and writing bump, but also have to navigate passing on those good feels without compromising their identity. Though it’s a mixed bag, today we look at three properties - Charlie Brown, Futurama, and Rugrats - to see how they handle the beast that is the Holiday Special.
The era of Adam Sandler is firmly in the past, and looking back on his popularity is a dizzying experience. He used his notoriety as “The Hannukah guy” to create an animated movie about the meaning of Hannukah. At least, that’s the concept. In execution, it’s just a whole lot of Adam Sandler without any physics or logical consistency slowing him down. If you actually enjoyed this movie, that’s a technical foul.
The Hannukah Song
Adam Sandler’s “Cock and Balls” skit
Hannukah is unimportant, trust me on this
Rat in a Hot Tin Can
”I wanna Kiss you all ovah” - last Adam Sandler reference I swear
Tim Heideker’s Rogan imitation is spot on
Big Brother is more than a 1984 dystopia
Klaus graphic novel
Jon Lovitz in the Simpsons
Pooping deer in Castle Crashers
Patton Oswalt’s immortal heckler takedown
Ben and Zane were due at the Hex-tech Animation Symposium in Piltover, but a wrong turn sent them to the undercity. Thankfully, a local known only as “Lucky Tim” offered to show them around. The undercity was vibrant, even if it lacked the refinement of the privileged class. All in all, a good detour, topped off with a surprise appearance of Imagine Dragons in The Last Drop.
