Not much has happened to Ben and Zane since they moved to Hazelnut, a sleepy little town where people can be themselves and all problems are quickly and neatly resolved. The locals seem a bit too indulgent with their kids, though. They get into all kinds of mischief without getting into trouble, and they don't care about anything but themselves. Whether they're arguing with a mirror, messing with other people just to learn a lesson, or just taking selfies, the kids these days think they're much too cool.
38 - Xiaolin Showdown
It's not every day you get challenged to a Xiaolin Showdown by your own brother! Ben and Zane were both reaching for the Microphone of Perfect Podcasting and grabbed it at the exact same moment. The world instantly noticed how dramatic it was, and the Cartoncasters found themselves in the middle of a thematically appropriate arena that done got jacked up on environment steroids. Ben wagered his 'Villain of Affability' while Zane offered up the 'Demographic Dissection of Wytegai'. Who won the showdown? We all did; this show is actually great.
37 - The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
espite never entering a contest, Ben and Zane won an all-expenses-paid trip to Endsville, a radiation-scarred city with residents who weren't doing much better. Most of the townspeople were either completely oblivious or totally insane, and none of them noticed the tentacles coming up from the sewers or the mysterious cloud of fog. Despite being clawed, chewed, and strangled on their way through town, neither of them died. Maybe it was a bizarre twist of fate, or the beneficence of incomprehensible beings from beyond the stars. Or maybe it had something to do with that skeleton on a leash tied up in someone's yard.
36 - Gargoyles
The Cartoncasters were hard at work, scoping out Manhattan for another story, but took a wrong turn and wound up in the extravagant mansion of a Machiavellian billionaire. A huge shape jumped from the building, revealing itself to be the leader of the Last of the Gargoyles. Goliath (along with some idiots) told the dark tale of how they were betrayed. Ben and Zane were skeptical until they realized Goliath was at least three fourths Batman. In summary, Xanatos wins.
35 - Star Trek: the Animated Series
Stardate 3571-247: Ben and Zane have left the ship to enter a portal leading into a strange landscape. They found themselves in a pocket dimension, controlled by benevolent yet condescending aliens. They propose a test to find out if humanity is truly good: The Cartoncasters must consistently confuse Star Wars and Star Trek on the internet, and hold their tongues against any backlash. In addition, they have to participate in the Prisoner's Dilemma, as well as refute Hume's Guillotine once and for all. With all the knowledge and experience they accumulated over 14 years in Star Fleet Academy, they managed to successfully seduce the aliens.
34 - Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiago
In a twist of fate, Ben and Zane were delayed from their cartoon-centric mission when they were deputized by ACME to catch the notorious criminal Carmen Sandiago. Naturally, what with ACME being the highest form of law on earth, they complied, and immediately C5-ed from place to place, learning about exotic locales and artifacts from Matthew Lesko. They didn't catch Carmen, but they sure did learn how to get free money from the government.
33 - Cromartie High School
Due to a typo on their podcasting license, Ben and Zane had to repeat a year of high school. They were sent to Cromartie High, where badass delinquents have control of the school. The lack of authority meant that the Cartoncasters had to put on a brave exterior, lest their peers see that they have a rich inner emotional life. However, respectful discussions won out over bravado, and the whole school united against those punks at the other high schools who aren't in touch with their feelings. Over the course of several field trips, everyone let out everything they had kept inside (especially that guy who had motion sickness).
32 - Mega Man
When an anonymous Man showed up to the Cartoncast office with two tickets to Wily and Light's concert, Ben and Zane were overjoyed. They packed up the bus with retro T-shirts, a first aid kit for moshing, and what the hell, supplies just in case a robo-apocalypse was forthcoming. It was a shame that when they got there, the only song the band played was "Super Fighting Robot". Again. And again. And again. At least the merch was good.
31 - Garfield and Friends
When Ben and Zane passed by the pet store, they just couldn't resist the tabby orange cat in the window. Huggable and tame, the beast had just the right amount of gluttony, sloth, and pride, and the Cartonists had thought they found the perfect mascot. They were all ready to purchase, but then it turned out that there was no cat. Ben and Zane had just been talking to no one at all, unaware of their isolation, slowly growing more and more morose. Man, fuckin' mondays.
30 - Bootlegg'd: Corpse Bride
Welcome back to the Cartoncast - or should I say, the Burtoncast? This week we revisit our Bootlegg'd segment for Corpse Bride. The mood was just terrifing/punny enough to entice our resident horror expert, Dan 'Delights in Existential Ennui' Caves. With an appreciation of the freedom of death that is sure to lead to an intervention, the Cartonists (and guest) dive into the belly of Corpse Bride to get to the heart of the matter. Yadda yadda sticks to your ribs.
Unshell'd - Thundercats "Book"
Join us in a time-filling very special episode of the Cartoncast, where we make fun of a children's book based on a show we haven't actually watched. Will Lion-O find the magic crystal? What does the magic crystal do? When will they put up the Corpse Bride episode? Take a day or six off and find out!
29 - Tom Goes to the Mayor
Well, crickets. Looks like Ben and Zane done pissed off the wrong cartoon deities and found themselves in the town of Jefferton, a hell crafted to suit only the most mild-mannered milquetoasts. It turns out they weren't the first people sent there - Tom Peters had been sent to Jefferton ages ago, presumably for mispelling his name on his taxes or something. It was a horrifying limbo until Ben and Zane figured out they could just move to a different town.
28 - The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
When the Comptroncast (our computer) stopped working, Ben and Zane met up with tech support guru Jimmy Neutron. He looked at it for a second in confusion, thought really hard, and exclaimed "Brainblast!" before using it in the center of a pentagram. With a wisp of smoke and the smell of sulfur, the device transported us into Retroville, a beautiful city with horrifying inhabitants. But it's a good thing that Jimmy did that. In fact, everything's better now. More pie?
27 - The Tick
It's not an easy life in The City, but the cartoncasters Ben and Zane are willing to listen to her woes. They're not pretty woes, they're the kind of woes you find at the bottom of the bargain bin, and plead with the clerk "Just how long have these woes been here!?" But it's not so bad - every so often they get the opportunity to meet a true hero. Just last week they ran into a bastion of justice known as The Tick - finally, a main character that makes some sense!
26 - The Magic School Bus
25 - Scrambl'd: Cousin Skeeter
Ben and Zane were walking through animation, minding their own business, when suddenly space warped around them, transporting them to the land of puppetry. It turned out that the cause of the reality maelstrom was a vaguely racist caricature, one Cousin Skeeter. The Cartoncasters tried their best to figure out a way home, but it was really hard to focus on anything besides that goddamn puppet.
24 - Case Closed
Ben and Zane decided to take in a jazz concert in the seedy part of town. The music was fantastic, but some jerk kept talking loudly throughout the whole thing. Suddenly, he started choking, and died right there on the spot. Luckily, who else was in attendance but the world-famous Richard Moore! The Cartonists rushed to get his autograph, and even though they took up all his attention and he actually fell asleep halfway through the conversation, he still managed to crack the case! I guess one truth really does prevail, provided it is complicated enough.
23 - Tiny Toon Adventures
Recently, the Cartonists were trying to track down what happened to Bugs Bunny after his heyday in the loony toon era. Did he simply disappear with the advent of newer, edgier cartoon styles? Did he adapt to fit a modern audience? As they delved deeper, they found the truth - his mind had fractured under the stress of fame and fortune, and his personalities eventually spawned a world of his own creation, one where his subjects revered him as a god. And also made tons of Indiana Jones references, for some reason.
22 - Generator Rex
Ever since THE EVENT, Ben and Zane have lived in fear that the nanites in their blood would turn them into monstrous EVOs. People are protesting in the streets about Providence's current policy of killing all EVOs with electric guitars and 90's slang. The atmosphere is so angsty and tense that nobody can watch their soap operas in peace. And then, from the ranks of the EVOs comes a savior: the honorable and pure Van Kleiss. Can he stop Providence's new top-secret weapon, or will they destroy his Brotherhood of EVO Mutants?
21 - Kim Possible
This week, Ben and Zane were flying Kim and her friend, whose name escapes me, down to Venezuela to stop an evil magician from erupting a volcano. They were trying to get a story out of her during the flight - something about mad scientists or ninjas or mechanical soldiers - but all she wanted to talk about were the most bland teenage boys in the world. Luckily, Ben and Zane pretty much tuned out once she referred to it as 'the drama'.