Ben and Zane got permission from the consulate to visit the planet of New Texas, and what a trip they had! It started out fine enough, with the Cartoncasters getting buzzed off some local 'sweetwater' and taking a tour of the kerium mines. But the best part was when bandits tried to take them hostage, only to be thwarted by the legendary sheriff, the one and only Bravestarr. Armed with nothing but grit, a good moral backbone, and the living spirits of the animal kingdom, Bravestarr brought them safely back to town, reminding them that the best battle is the one not fought and to always eat their vegetables.

Ben and Zane were joined by Dan for their biweekly "Brunch and Sneer," spending the time drolly discussing the state of the world and wondering why people would choose not to be born rich. "Quite odd," one quipped. "Myes, quite." They had such an enjoyable time that it turned into "Luncheon and Scoff." At one point it sounded like there might be some sort of malformed man ramming himself against the door in protest of his lot in life, but turning up the brandy faucet made short work of that annoyance.

The Cartoncasters were lost in the great metroscape of downtown Manhattan and stumbled into an active protest. This protest, headed by the Huntsclan, was trying to rally the people to drive out the unnatural and mystical creatures from their beloved city. The Cartoncasters kind of saw his point, until they realized he just meant Asian people, not mythical monsters. If only the real Huntsman, from Freakazoid, had been there instead.

Hey, you there. You think this is a game? You think this is a kid's show, for baby tots? Think again. This is about food. The kind of food that kills for fun. For a sick sense of pleasure. This ain't no action comedy lighthearted romp parody. Ben and Zane, our beloved Cartoncasters, were nearly killed in the line of duty trying to report on this war zone. By day the beasts wield their spoons with impunity, knowing nobody can fight back. The night is scarcely darker, as candies explode and shower the sky with flaming sticky shrapnel. God help you if you fall in a grease trap. These Foodons just keep fighting.

Have a care, little bear-type buddy! It looks those two little peas in a podcast have wandered into Jellystone national park. If I didn't have a better reason, I'd say that it must be Yogi Bear season! Everything should be a-okay if we let them stay, until they're on their way! No thanks BooBoo, there's no need for you to talk. Sinceriously, we're good.

After getting a distress signal from the ____, Ben and Zane beamed up their pal Nic to track their most dangerous foe yet, ASAP. An evil half-black-hole threatened to destroy the universe, but as they started planning their ambush, the Cartoncasters found their own voices strangely soothing. After getting heavily distracted, yet again, they regained focus when a cyborg ape threw his brain at them. It was kind of hard to focus on anything else, really. But through a combination of freezing temperatures and zero gravity, they managed to prevail. With apologies to Steve Miller Band.

Cartoncast Evil Incorporateeeeed! The Cartoncasters invite you all to behold our new Joke-inator. By flagrantly brandishing sitcom formula with an ironic edge, this device creates cartoons at an almost fiendish pace. And just when you think you've adapted to the formula, it fires an out of place song at you, causing disorientation, irritability, and in rare cases, thrombosis. Don't worry though - at least once an episode, you'll be rescued from the monotony by an animal secret agent in a funny hat. God bless you, Perry the Platypus. God bless you.

No beating around the bush on this one - we both adore this show. Jackie Chan is a knockoff Indiana Jones that gets inducted into the MIB to hunt the 7 magical crystals and make the world safe from a dragon demon statue that summons shadow ninjas. Ease off the throttle JCA - you had us at Hak Foo. Enjoy as we rightly praise a show that captured our hearts unlike any other.

It was Ben and Zane's hardest case yet, a real Riddler of a mystery. They would need some help from the local photographer, Devan, to get to the bottom of it. And it paid off - she had taken a treasure trove of pictures and video, exhaustively researching the very same case. She found that there was one common factor behind the string of disappearances of villains in the city: massive amounts of guano left behind at the scene. But what could be doing this? Who would drain the blood of dozens of hard-working megalomaniacal job-creators, yet be smart enough to evade capture. But in a vast city of people throatily declaring "I am Batman," where could they find the elusive Man-Bat?

Ben and Zane probably shouldn't have wandered through the desolate streets of London that late at night. They were chasing a hot tip about a vampire running amok, just being generally creepy and nihilistic. Luckily, local professor of the supernatural, one Dan Caves, was willing to outfit them everything they'd need to survive the task. Silver crosses, impossibly heavy guns, and over-the-top faux british accents that'd send the ranks of the undead running. Cor and blimey, police girl.

Finding themselves under immediate threat of roboticization, Ben and Zane enlisted the help of Joshua to navigate the post-apocalyptic hellscape their humble village had become. Despite the victorious battles that soon followed, nothing ever seemed to get better. They made up slang and listened to the ancient music to entertain themselves, all the while planning how to defeat their eternal enemy: the French.

Ben and Zane were investigating the inside of their freezer when, wouldn't you know it, they got locked in and had to reminisce about a show they vaguely remember watching once. They called up Nate and Craig to join them in this Secret Room and, rather than have them help the Cartoncasters out, they all talked about pop culture references for a while. Also they own a store now.

The Cartoncasters were trying on various costumes at the mall, judging the quality of their respective bulges (someone had to), when they were enraptured by a performance in the middle of the mall. It was none other than Jem, pop idol extraordinaire. She dazzled onlookers with her fashion, glitter, fortune, and fame, not to mention the supercomputer in the back of the set working the lights. The show turned out to be truly (truly truly) outrageous, and the two knew that no matter how many concerts they'd go to, no one else would be the same. And the holograms.

It was finally time for Ben and Zane to get new anime body pillows to snuggle up with, so it became necessary to brave the greatest fantasy adventure setting: the marketplace. The merchants were formal and entertaining, but their bartering system was too complicated and the church kept showing up to accuse the Cartoncasters of various sins and abominations. Buying things was easier back when you just had to make a sacrifice to the wolf god.

Well, it finally happened. Mortality caught up with Ben and Zane and they were sucked into the Ghost Dimension (tm). Who knew eating that many raw eggs could be dangerous? Thankfully a slightly-angsty yet highly uninteresting ghost, Inviso-Bill, happened to point them in the right direction to get home. He seemed to be in some weird undead-plane feud with local vampire Vlad Plasmius. The Cartoncasters wisely decided to head back to their mortal coil, despite Vlad looking really, really cool.