144 - Dungeons and Dragons

144 - Dungeons and Dragons

Ben and Zane were over their heads. While in the midst of an innocent-looking carnival ride, they wound up in downtown Manhattan (a totally magical realm). Luckily, a magical being of immense power, a dungeon master (some call him Tim) knew the ropes of this magical world, and was willing to share his wisdom with them. The Cartoncasters had no idea what they were getting into.

Note: Tim’s connectivity was an issue during the episode, so the audio quality is inconsistent. We apologize for the difficulty any listeners may experience.

Note II - The Revenge: This episode is broken into two parts: reminiscing about dnd, and talking about the show. We spend the first 40 minutes reminiscing, so go to 41:06 for our discussion of the show.

143 - As Told by Ginger

143 - As Told by Ginger

As the longitudinal study wrapped up, Ben and Zane looked proudly upon their work. Three years watching how teenagers develop when they are carefully kept away from any wacky nonsense, it had shown that even teens are capable of weighing complex situations, developing loyalty, and growing over time into young adults that anyone could be proud of. The control group…eh, not so much, but one of them turned telekinetic, that’s gotta count for something, right?

,

142 - Scrambl'd - Tiny Fuppets

,
142 - Scrambl'd - Tiny Fuppets

Ben and Zane were rifling through ye olde felt shoppe (it’s a holiday tradition), when a wayward Gary showed them something they had overlooked. In the bargain bin were some adorable yet soulless plush darlings. They didn’t look like much, but Gary picked one up and squeezed it. It uttered, in a nasally, poorly filtered voice, “Por favor, não me aperte”. The Cartoncasters were sold. Don’t bother wrapping these up, we’re wearing them home.

Thanks to Gary Butterfield, podcaster extraordinaire from Duckfeed.tv , for infecting us with a love for these somber little dopes.

141 - Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle

141 - Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle

There’s just no experience that compares to roughing it in the woods - campfires, fishing, the clean air of the great outdoors. Needless to say, Ben and Zane were delirious from hunger and fear almost immediately. Thankfully a very well-spoken and, dare I say, handsome slab of man rescued them from their plight and helped the two get back toward civilization. Granted, it wasn’t the right civilization, but come on, they all look the same after a while.

,

140 - Bootlegg'd: Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic

,
140 - Bootlegg'd: Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic

Damn Graves comes by the Cartoncast once again to look at one of the most over-the-top adaptations of the classic Divine Comedy. Is it fun? Hell yes! Is it sinful? Heavens no! Does it stay true to the source material? Eh, kinda. This movie based on a game based on a poem based on theology goes down smooth if you just want a cool action flick, and holds up to actual analysis for you brainy types. Just don’t ask too many questions - questions are the Devil’s spices!

139 - Pirates of Dark Water

139 - Pirates of Dark Water

The Cartoncasters were on their way to locate the fabled thirteen treasures of cool (they needed the help), but had no idea how to find them. Thankfully, a helpful local by the name of James happened to know the waters since he was a child, and within a minute they were on a boat, off to engage in some high-seas adventure. They might not have been able to find all thirteen, but they came away from the experience stronger, wiser, and having heard tales of the fabled hesi-pull-up-jimbo.

138 - Ranma 1/2

138 - Ranma 1/2

Ben and Zane were enjoying their trip to China, investigating some mythical springs that would turn them into wacky slapstick martial artists. When they got there, however, the park was fully occupied, with people fighting due to long-standing grudges or one-off gimmicky misunderstandings. The Cartoncasters didn’t really notice though, as they were completely absorbed reading their mangas. Alas, when they fell into one of the springs, the only transformation was of the pages getting ruined.

137 - Sealab 2021

137 - Sealab 2021

When Sealab sent the call for brave young documentarians to accompany them on their underwater adventures, Ben and Zane jumped at the chance. Little did they know that the captain was utterly insane. Actually, scratch that - they did know that, it was pretty obvious. Hell, that was why they wanted to go down in the first place. That, and M.C. Chris was kind enough to provide the bathysphere music.

136 - Reheat'd: The Magic School Bus Rides Again

136 - Reheat'd: The Magic School Bus Rides Again

Ben and Zane decided to enroll in night school. They felt like they knew enough science, but someone on the internet warned them that night school would ruin the education they already received, and they just had to follow up on that. The Cartoncasters found, however, that the class was exactly the same as it was during the day. They were tired, so the classroom looked a little weird to their blurry eyes, and the teacher clearly learned a few things since that morning, but nothing was really that different. The went on the internet to discuss this, and then immediately decided it was better to just go outside.

,

135 - Bootlegg'd - Balto

,
135 - Bootlegg'd - Balto

Generally our Bootlegg’d segments look at the great, the awful, the sensational and the weird. But what if a movie was… blander? Balto is the very model of a standard kid’s feel-good movie from the mid-90’s with a gimmick of being based on a real story. But what it provides in spectacle and good-will toward dogs (dogwill), it lacks in pacing, message, and character development. Listen in as we talk about where it came up short, and how we would have changed this from an okay movie into a very good boy.

134 - Oban Star Racers

134 - Oban Star Racers

After buying a lemon from a shifty, fast-talking salesman, Ben and Zane worked tirelessly to spruce up and modernize the Cartonmobile. Turbo jets, gyro-stabilizers, Matroyshka shell shields, this baby had it all. They thought it would just be for show, but it turns out it’s the only vehicle on Earth capable of competing in the Star Race, with the fate of humanity hanging in the balance. They may not have any training or even basic motor skills, but they had the one thing all pod racers need; the Force. Force to break everyone else’s ships before the race that is.

133 - Ed Edd n' Eddy

133 - Ed Edd n' Eddy

How many years had it been, since the Egg boys first left the Cul De Sac to search their fortune? They say you can’t go home again - would the place from their youth even remotely resemble their halcyon days, affixed in amber and reinforced by nostalgia? Surely they weren’t the same bright-eyed youths that left, so sure of their strength and conviction. The Egg boys were silent, but they each thought the same thing - this reunion was couldn’t possibly live up to their idyllic memories.

But no. It was perfect. The Egg boys were home.

5-year Victory Lap

It’s not every day that the Cartoncasters get to just hang out and talk about themselves with their podcasting buddies - in fact, we only let ourselves do it once every five years! But Dan and Nic (and special ghost Andrew) join in for thought-provoking discussions, random bullshit, and even a quiz! Thanks to everyone for listening!

The Fifth Annual Cartony Awards

Cartony-Awards.png

After five straight years of putting their eggs in one basket, Ben and Zane took a little time to go back and rank those eggs. Some were extra round, some were different colors, one was actually a potato in disguise. Still, after a long deliberative process, they figured out the very best ones. And they pickled them for later, because The Cartoncast is where good taste goes to die.

This year’s awards:

Best Setting to Live In

Best Character Design

Best Genre Parody

Worst Example of Toxic Masculinity

Best Intro/Worst Show

Most Jarring Unpleasant Detail (Fly in the Ointment Award)

Best Conspiracy Theory

Best (Our) Intro

Who Would Win in a Fight

Most Cohesive Message

Coolest Ability

Best Musical Integration

Best Episode

These don’t always have shownotes but we referenced a very specific gameFAQs review.

132 - G.I. Joe - A Real American Hero

132 - G.I. Joe - A Real American Hero

Ben and Zane were in a pickle. Due to a gaff in their taxes, it turned out half of their podcasting efforts needed to be written off as a counter-terrorism media operation to defend America from the villainous Cobra (over both land and air, to get full recompensation). They were in a bind until a G.I. Joe member, Egg Head, told them that the real secret to protecting America was to start in your communities: donating your time to homeless shelters, offering to be on the neighborhood watch, and to be sure to always be wearing a fabulously revealing ensemble. Those Cobra clowns won’t know what hit ‘em. Yo Joe!

131 - Fillmore!

131 - Fillmore!

Ben and Zane had set up this stakeout weeks ago, but it might all be for nothing if their informant, Josh "Most Extreme" McCloud, shortchanged them with his tip. He told them to stay frosty, that the perp always returns to the scene of the crime. And when the crime is piracy, X marks the spot - X middle school, that is. They watched the target - one Cornelius Fillmore - for hours. He quipped, he deduced, he even did some sick backflips, but the kid was clean - his checkered past was far behind him. They kept watching, though. Kid was compelling.

,

130 - Bootlegg'd - Fiddlesticks

,
130 - Bootlegg'd - Fiddlesticks

Put on your best tux and shine those shoes, because today we have a special guest on the Cartoncast for our Bootlegg'd segment. Jeff Ryan, author of 'A Mouse Divided', has agreed to talk to us about the creators of the immortal Mickey Mouse, and how their falling out propelled one to greatness - and the other to obscurity. Today we tackle "Fiddlesticks", an Ub Iwerks production shortly after he left Walt Disney to strike out on his own, starring 'Flip the Frog'. Listen in to find out what we think of this solo venture, and how it stacks up to the Mouse himself.

129 - Catdog

129 - Catdog

The Cartoncasters had an embarrassing problem. Someone - and we're not pointing fingers at anyone - stapled their butts together. Was it hilarious? Yeah, I mean it had its moments. Was it interesting? Not as much as you might think. Maybe it was a commentary on society or a dark look at the long-term effects of ostracism, but pretty much everybody just focused on how their butts were stapled together. Thankfully nobody talks about the incident any more. Too busy watching that guy who holds his breath and pokes holes in himself like a sponge.

128 - Super Mario Bros. Suite

128 - Super Mario Bros. Suite

It started innocently enough - Ben and Zane decided to go shopping for matching overalls. Little did they know that a cursory simultaneous trip to the bathroom would herald decades-spanning, dimension-hopping struggle for their very souls. They were whisked away to colorful, fantastic realms, curiously vertically-designed in nature. Strangely, no matter where they went, everyone knew who they were. Whether they were plumbers, doctors, athletes, explorers, or detectives - everyone was hooked on the brothers.