Ben and Zane were excited to take on the role of substitute teachers at the local Podcasting high school. On the day of, they realized that they didn’t know any facts! The Cartoncasters bravely wheeled in that old tube TV on the rickety wheeled platform and set up a marathon of Schoolhouse Rock! Did it meet the curriculum? Hell no. Did it still hold up? Yes… AND.
The Cartoncast has an image to uphold, you know. We can’t just have any old podcaster on staff, coming in half-cocked off of a bender, ranting about upskirt shots in video games and confessing actual, literal crimes on camera. But every so often you run into a true problem in the podcast world that can’t be solved with a meeting or a suspension. No, sometimes you need a man like Onizuka, who finds the people responsible for trolls hacking into our website, and reminds them about proper netiquette via German suplex. Just, uh… don’t talk to him on bring your daughter to work day.
Things were rough for the Podcaster Cops down at the station. The legendary Axe Cop - yes, that Axe Cop - was making them look bad! It was up to Law Cop to give them a leg up and show them the beat. Despite learning several hundred secret kicks and foiling the impending Shark/Tiger war, they still couldn’t keep up with Axe Cop, and were forced into early retirement. It’s just as well, though. Rumor has it that the missions were being given out by a five year old.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie, and Nintendo in general, does not need defenders or simps. You are allowed to like or dislike this movie on its own merits, no more and no less than The Godfather. But in the context of the previous Mario Bros film, other video game adaptations in general, and Illumination Studio’s works, this movie is a miracle. The Mario pillars of simplicity, spectacle, and polish are all on display here, so sit back and listen as the Cartoncast takes in a movie that is at once exactly what you’d expect, but also makes most of the shots it takes. Let’s a go.
Ben and Zane were having a hard time coming up with proper retribution against their old foe, the Moon (long story), and asked Josh for help. After an extensive summary of recent Japanese Game Show events, he quoted from the Book of Dan: “You don’t need to have a reason to hate, nor a plan, nor a goal. Just let it out into the world, and justice will provide.” So they gathered up some rocks and took turns throwing them off the roof of the building, hoping some would make it to the moon. They did end up taking down Sasquatch, but that’s a fascinating story for another time.
In the fallout of One Punch Man’s miraculous rise and then slow fall, Mob Psycho was somewhat overlooked by the anime community for a time. Which is a shame, because by all accounts it surpasses One’s more famous work. Ben and James gush unceasingly about this bowl-cut havin’ miracle child and his master, the greatest psychic of the modern era.
Ben and Zane didn’t have a clue why they were recruited to handle this oil spill, but they knew who to bring in: Ian. He came on board and told them that what they really needed was a guy by the name of Captain Planet. They brought in Gaia to give them a couple power rings, then got the last ones by some unsavory methods, but eventually they were able to summon Captain Planet. He took one look at the problem, told them that “The Power is Yours,” and disappeared. They took the L and hoped that Mother Nature could take one more for the team.
The following is a choice segment from an interview between Bit Cloud, pilot of the Liger Zero from Blitz Team, and the Cartoncasters.
“Look man, life’s not so easy in the post-apocalypse. Which post apocalypse? Not important. At least, not any more important than bustin’ up some fools with my mad sick liger zero moves. I’ve never met a mech I didn’t want to fight, and I never didn’t fight a mech I haven’t wanted to beat. So let’s get this show on the road, pardner! That growling either means my Liger wants to wrassle, or that I’m hungry - and I already ate! Ate what? From what food sources? Man, just from those questions I can tell you aint from around here.”
Inside Out is a touching, funny, beautiful movie. It has all the Pixar hallmarks, an all-star cast, and an engaging premise. But more than that, it puts the feelings of growing up into words, and gives its viewers the vocabulary to process the world as their emotions become increasingly nuanced and jumbled. An instant classic that we all wish we had when we were young. In all these ways and more, it’s kind of like Futurama.
Welcome to our 200th episode, eggberts! We could go on a whole spiel about why we chose this for such an auspicious anniversary, or do some sort of speech celebrating our run so far, but in the end we just wanted to gush about Freakazoid, so that’s what we did. For those who know this show, no additional context is necessary. For those who haven’t - you’re in for a real mint.
Thanks for Josh for helping out with the intro!
Ben and Zane were recovering from some absolutely devastating head injuries. They were tired, a little loopy, and just a bit altered. Instead of enjoying some relaxing, wholesome TV, the Cartoncasters just watched their action figures on the floor, imaging them getting into all sorts of wacky situations. It was hit-or-miss, but it was hard to look away from, especially once things got going. But once they recovered, it was hard to explain the appeal to anyone else. Except for Flo, she’ll always understand.
The Cartoncasters are not immune to getting lost at the terminal, and wouldn’t you know it, on their way to Albuquerque they managed to reroute to Australia, where one Taz was waiting for them. Though they were initially nervous, Ben and Zane found him to be pleasant enough company, if a bit derivative. They also met 80-odd other characters, but as the saying goes, what happens in Tasmania… isn’t a whole lot.
Space Jam is one of those properties that you’ve seen, even if you haven’t seen it. And if you have seen it, see it again now that you’re older. Because it's legendary status is part truth, part myth, and part confusing. This oft-cited box office bombshell has its share of faults that your kid brain might have passed over - as well as a few ‘blink and you miss it’ gags that had us rolling.
Thanks for James for coming on the show and lending us some much needed basketball insights!
That’s right, babe, the Cartoncast has taken a trip back, back to the Future that is Aku. Jacky baby is back, with just a few too many of his old baggage weighing him down. Ben and Zane tried to keep him from turning back time (and from robbing the grave), but sometimes you just have to let someone keep going on their path. Rip Aku, long live Scaramouche, babe.
Welcome to Neo Yokio, the only place in the world where you can watch the All-City Gentleman’s Field Hockey game while sipping a Caprese Martini. The Cartoncasters were living the high life, blinged up in all the finery that Neo-Podcast Neo-Money can buy, when the game was interrupted by a literal devil breaking through the ground and eviscerating a player. Ichiban Kaz Kaan fought it off, but made an utter faux pas by being off-side when he banished it back to hell. It almost makes you think about the inability to feel content in the hyper-capitalist materialistic social strata. Almost.
Ben and Zane were walking through yet another spooky forest when a little bird - Josh - told them about a modern American Fairy Tale. Over the Garden Wall is cozy yet unsettling, precise yet meandering, and heartwarming yet grim. Listen to a lovely soundtrack as we discuss a whole lot of nonsense, and just slightly less heart.
Every so often you run into something that just can’t be explained. So when strange spooky noises showed up on their recordings, Ben and Zane decided to contact the experts. Resident horror expert Dan Caves agreed to take a look at the files. Long story short, the files weren’t haunted, but there was a clip detailing the evils of governmental overreach. None of them knew how it got there - it just sort of popped in there.
Ben and Zane grew tired of these new-fangled modern cartoons, and longed for an era of simplicity. But they also didn’t want to change the channel from Cartoon Network. Hark, like a throwing stick, Boomerang appeared, and brought with it five mesmerizing spectacles: A pervert rodent; a father-dog barely holding it together; A horse with a gun and a tuning problem; a double-racist janitor; and some Italians.
Hyrule was at peace, and the Cartoncasters were bored out of their Skulltulas. Legends told of a hero who would come and rescue them from their boredom, with the power of Courage the fight back the darkness. What they got instead was Link, a petty shitlord who just wanted to hit on the princess and maraud around the town. Ben and Zane enlisted James as an old wise man who knew of Link’s weaknesses, but it turned out that the Hero of Time was a totally different guy.
