Ben and Zane were looking forward to a relaxing trip to the country - the Donkey Kong Country. The trees and lakes were nice (if a bit low-res), and the owner of the resort, Mr. Kahrule, was very magnanimous. Unfortunately, there was an unpleasant man wandering around. He smelled like an ape and looked like he hadn’t bathed or shaved in years, but he kept talking about how he was destined to become the rightful ruler of the resort. His handler lured him away with a shiny crystal, though, so it wasn’t too bad. 4 stars, must check out the sea shanties.

Ben and Zane decided to use their powers of creativity for good(?) and came up with 10 cartoon adaptations of video games. This well is nowhere near dry, but once we think up 3 different harem animes it’s time for a break.

• Mario Odyssey and WarioWare in a Freaky Friday situation

• Shovel Knight as a Reality TV show about living together

• Starcraft following the three factions in a war story arms race

• Slay the Spire as an anime battle tournament

• Psychonauts as wacky Inception with mental health PSAs

• Fallout as a Samurai Jack-esque postapocalypse survival drama

• Secret of Evermore with a dimension-hopping culture warrior

• Stardew Valley as vicarious pansexual polygamy/farming wish fulfillment

• Final Fantasy 6 as a JoJo-style world-traveling action plotline pileup

• Dark Souls Chibi parody

Modern times getting you down? Things a bit too… serious? Well we let the radical 90’s adventure A Goofy Movie warp our schedule because it was just so freshalicious. Nic joins the cartoncasters as we look at an oft-overlooked piece of the Disney Renaissance that’s surprisingly heartwarming. So join us for the Perfect Cast.

Phil gathered the Cartoncasters to his bedside. It was his time - the mercury fumes, you understand - and soon he would be gone. But instead of shuffling off to wherever it is he goes, he instead shifted before their eyes, metamorphizing into a brand new Phil. This one wore some atrocious plaid slacks, sure, and his recorder-playing wasn’t up to its usual stuff, but it was clearly the same guy, otherwise how could he rant about Dr. Who so well?

The Cartoncasters were in a bind. Yes, “again,” get off my back! Their…whew… let’s say dog was missing. Kidnapped! Kidnapped by, like, a confused cat burglar. And the cat burglar was in cahoots with, uh, maybe a salon? And the salon… I can’t do this. Yadda yadda, Ace Ventura’s on the case, whatever, just don’t make me look at him any more.

Ben and Zane wanted to do their part to help the planet, so they joined AVALANCHE. The Cartoncasters liked it at first - they didn’t have to work in the radiation mines, they had all the propaganda they could want, and the ladies in the group seemed very interested. But the promises of daring missions and glory faded away as they spent their day selling water filters and haggling with the local Madam. At least they would be done soon, as there’s only… 150 MORE HOURS?!

What does it take to win the Oscar for Best Picture for Animated Feature? Does it take a story of high adventure, complex comedy, and social commentary? A grand epic with new and beautiful animation techniques that questions the nature of the self and its relationship to art and history? Can it handle having a mushy middle and a confused ending? It can if the Disney/Pixar movie that year was Cars 2.

When Ben and Zane found the keys in that excavator, they knew there was only one option: tool around in it until they got caught or caused a fire, whichever comes first. What they didn’t expect was to unearth a complete skeleton of a T-Rex. The Cartoncasters gazed at its beauty and its potential, the sheer power of such a creature. But without any real meat on it, no connective tissue, no capacity for growth, it would never achieve greatness. Then they got distracted by this cool iguana that got glued to a screwdriver and totally destroyed the skeleton.

Ben and Zane were all set up in their rooms, ready to record a podcast (in space). Setting up their space-microphones and sipping cosmic water, they pressed record. After a couple of intergalactic hours, their space-podcast was complete (in space).